IC Inbox | Ryslig

[sciencesquid]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, OCTAVIUS. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 015.03.020.15 *** OCTAVIUS has joined 015.03.020.15 <OCTAVIUS> You've reached Dr. Otto Octavius. Please leave a message.

Comments

[sciencesquid]

No one said I'm planning to embarrass you, dear boy.

But you have raised the question of whether Mana would be able to get me some baby pictures of you if I were to ask her. She's brought stranger things into this world before.

[heyunderoos]

Yeah, you're definitely a dad alright if you're thinking about that, omg.

[sciencesquid]

I have to earn my father's day gifts somehow. And that #1 Dad mug.

[heyunderoos]

I feel like you earn those by being here, I didn't know there were dad clauses.

[Now they are absolutely distracted from their original point, but that isn't a surprise.]

[sciencesquid]

Oh yes, I had to sign a contract and everything. 500 pages' worth of guidelines, clauses, obligations and dad jokes.

I don't regret a single thing so far.

[heyunderoos]

[Any smartass response he has dies when he sees that last part of Otto's message. It just makes Peter stare for a moment, feeling emotional in a way he can't completely quantify.

He goes for his immediate response]

Love you too, Dad.

[sciencesquid]

[Peter's not the only one feeling emotional. It won't stop Otto from carrying on the joke, though.]

Good. Now remember that sentiment when I tell your potential new girlfriend about the time we accidentally broke one of those security mannequins in the mall on our first day here.

[heyunderoos]

Unfortunately, she's seen me do stupider things already. So, I don't think she'll be surprised.

oh my god, you're going to bond over me doing dumb stuff

[sciencesquid]

Most likely.

Does she have many good stories to share? I'd rather not be out-anecdoted if I can help it.

[heyunderoos]

Dad, I really don't think she can out-anecdote you considering we live together.

Maybe the time we yelled 'fuck you' at the fog god? We kind of annoyed everyone else at the park a little bit.

[sciencesquid]

Now, son. Mind your language. 8)

It's not too late to give her a few more stories to share, you know.

[heyunderoos]

Says the man who would yell the same at the fog given the chance.

I mean, she already knows I fall off chairs sometimes.

[Otto has likely seen Peter get a bit too into a project or book and fall off a chair without meaning to.]

I am probably not making myself seem cool at all, ugh.

[sciencesquid]

I would say "damn you", I think. Or "shame on you".

If you ask me, I think girls who only like 'cool' guys are a myth. They like kind and sensitive, and a good sense of humor.

[heyunderoos]

I don't think the fog feels a remote bit of shame, so she'd probably ignore that. She'd probably ignore me too. 'We don't understand our gift, blah blah blah'

I hope that's true. I want to see where this goes and not be boring or anything? idk.

[sciencesquid]

We understand the gift, we just don't like it. That's the difference.

How could you be boring when you do things like fall off chairs and swear at the fog?

[heyunderoos]

Is it even a gift if its something forced on you?

I guess when you put it that way, I can't be boring, lol. One of those is a lot cooler than the other.

[sciencesquid]

The best comparison I can draw is when a cat brings their owner a dead mouse. It's given with all the best, heartfelt intent, but it isn't welcome at all.

Or I could compare it to the colleague I once had who would give me a jar of homemade, experimental jam for Christmas each year. It always tasted dreadful, but he was convinced the flavor combination was revolutionary.

That's the spirit. But please don't use the F word next time you cuss out the fog, or she'll give us even more unwanted gifts.

[heyunderoos]

Honestly not sure which of those comparisons are worse, because they both fit a bit too well.

Otto, I feel like the fog has heard way worse than 'fuck' from people before. I mean, how long has she been doing this by now?

Two teenagers yelling at her probably barely registered.

[sciencesquid]

Alright, let me rephrase that.

For MY sake, please don't use the F word when you cuss out the fog again. And for Santa, just in case a potty mouth impacts your presents.

[heyunderoos]

I'll keep that in mind, but I don't think she's going to notice I exist unless I try to put her in a cube again.

Otto, living with you has been the only time I've really celebrated Christmas. I don't think Santa knows I exist either.

[sciencesquid]

[HMMMM. Did he mess up by specifically honing in on Santa? It's hard for him to say. He'll course correct just in case.]

I think that whoever it is who will ensure you get presents this December knows you exist, Peter. Be it a big cat or a big, jolly fellow. 8)

[heyunderoos]

[Now he has the urge to say 'fuck the fog god' more than ever. Thanks, Otto.]

You know I could make so many jokes about you holding gifts ransom over me not swearing at a god.

But, fair enough.